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Post by Eldae on Jul 20, 2006 21:38:31 GMT -5
"I'm not asking you to forget it. I'm not asking you to pretend you never did anything wrong. I'm asking you to forgive yourself, to let yourself move on with your life."
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Post by Kait on Jul 20, 2006 21:40:42 GMT -5
"Why should I, Taurendil? Why do I deserve forgiveness? From myself or anyone else?"
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Post by Eldae on Jul 20, 2006 21:43:46 GMT -5
"Everyone deserves forgiveness, Zahrah. I'm not going to preach at you, but Ilmater's church doesn't just teach martyrdom. It teaches forgiveness, and the healing that comes with it. I've already forgiven you, whether or not you believe you deserve it. You forgave me for all the horrible things I did to you, and saved me from death, or a fate worse than it. Now you just need to find it within you to forgive yourself, and let yourself begin healing."
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Post by Kait on Jul 20, 2006 21:55:27 GMT -5
*Zahrah just stared at him, shaking her head a little before pressing herself against him, burying her face against his chest.* "I don't know what to do, Taurendil... It hurts... It hurts so much... and I can't make it all go away..."
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Post by Eldae on Jul 21, 2006 8:06:04 GMT -5
Taurendil held Zahrah against him. "I know," he said, kissing her gently on her forehead. "Let me help you. Tell me everything."
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Post by Kait on Jul 21, 2006 8:45:44 GMT -5
*Zahrah just nodded, too upset and confused to hide it anymore...* "All right... I'll tell you everything..." *She gently pulled away from him, wearily moving to sit on the edge of the bed and motioning for him to join her.*
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Post by Eldae on Jul 21, 2006 8:46:54 GMT -5
Taurendil sat down next to Zahrah, one arm going around her shoulder.
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Post by Kait on Jul 21, 2006 9:14:45 GMT -5
*Zahrah hesitated a moment, staring at the floor as she tried to figure out how to say what she needed to say... Finally, she took a deep breath and began...* "I was born and raised in Calimport... you know this... and I suppose for the first few years of my life things were normal... but my parents were always getting themselves into things they shouldn't. I was too young at the time to learn the whole story, but I'm pretty sure my father was into gambling with all the wrong people... He eventually owed them far more money than he could pay. Someone got tired of waiting for payment and killed both of my parents. Everything we owned was taken to cover the debt, and even that wasn't enough... So I was taken as well... I was thirteen when I was sold on the slave market... I don't know whether to count this as lucky, but I was chosen as a house slave for a wealthy man. I was well clothed and fed, unlike those slaves forced to live outdoors and in the streets... but before the first week was over, my master had taken me in his room..."
*Zahrah swallowed hard, feeling her old anger building up at the thought.* "Night after night he summoned me to his chambers and he was never gentle or considerate... the moment he had finished he sent me away... and every day I had to go back to work with the other slaves, sore and broken..." *Zahrah paused a moment to control her emotions, taking a deep breath.* "It went this way for years... I learned to be obedient and fearful at all times to avoid additional pain but his summons never stopped. I don't know what pushed me over the edge, but finally I'd had enough... I was called to help prepare dinner in the kitchen one night... When no one was looking, I wrapped a knife in a napkin and hid it carefully under my sash... Later that night when my master summoned me, I came to his chambers as always. He turned his back to disrobe and by the time he turned around, I had the knife in my hand and plunging toward his heart... He never had the chance to even cry out or call for the guards. I... I stabbed him over and over and over again... I lost track of how many times, but... he was dead long before I stopped... there was blood everywhere... so much blood... and his eyes and mouth were still open in pain and surprise... I'd never seen anything so gruesome before..."
*She stopped, noticing that she had been trembling... She wrapped her arms around herself, shaking her head a little and trying to block out the images.* "I ran... I knew all of the secret passages in the house and I made it unseen onto the street. I wasn't too far away when lights came on in some of the windows of the house... I could barely hear the screams from inside... I ran as fast as I could out of the city. I saw a caravan on the road ahead and I shed my bloody clothing, running to catch up with them... I used what the gods gave me, bargaining for transport in return for my... services... So I escaped Calimshan in their company, traveling with them to Cormyr where the left me in Arabel..."
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Post by Eldae on Jul 21, 2006 9:24:35 GMT -5
Taurendil remained silent through Zahrah's story, his arm occasionally tightening around her shoulders. "Zahrah, I never... I never knew..."
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Post by Kait on Jul 21, 2006 9:26:50 GMT -5
*Zahrah just shook her head, staring at the floor...* "That's because I've never told anyone..."
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Post by Eldae on Jul 21, 2006 9:41:02 GMT -5
Taurendil stroked Zahrah's hair gently. "I don't blame you. I'm surprised you actually told me."
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Post by Kait on Jul 21, 2006 9:46:20 GMT -5
"That makes two of us then... but I just... wanted you to understand..." *She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the memories that she had kept buried for so long.*
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Post by Eldae on Jul 21, 2006 9:53:04 GMT -5
"I... I know how hard it was for you to tell me this. But... it's best that you told someone."
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Post by Kait on Jul 21, 2006 9:56:30 GMT -5
*Zahrah just nodded again although she didn't open her eyes.* "I know..."
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Post by Eldae on Jul 21, 2006 10:03:45 GMT -5
"Zahrah, I... I never was very good at comforting people," Taurendil said with a sigh. "But if there's anything I can do for you... just name it."
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